january 31, 2009

i want to leave something behind; i will be remembered.

january 30, 2009

it's possible; anything's possible.

january 28, 2009

i honestly don't have any ideas.


p.s. that clementine on my profile represents something.
but don't ask me what, because i won't tell you. it's for me.

january 27, 2009

i am so selfish. it's disgusting.

january 26, 2009

i want my piercings and my tattoo; i want physical proof of the change i'm making.

january 25, 2009

this weekend was nice, but it felt like something was missing.

january 22, 2009

i am so stressed. with everything.

january 21, 2009

this monologue is so...difficultly easy.

january 20, 2009

"to be at one of the hardest times in my life, and still be able to smile? that HAS to be God."

i don't want to think that God or someone else is to thank for any strength i have, because then it makes me feel like i couldn't do it myself. sometimes, we all need to stand on our own. i've always had an independant nature.

january 19, 2009

this was one of the best birthdays of my life.

january 16, 2008

i know you're mine,
all mine, all mine,
but you look so good it hurts sometimes.

january 14, 2009

it's crazy how many connections you make with people in times of crisis.

january 13, 2008

i'm going to be 18 next sunday :]

january 12, 2009

student directing Waiting for Godot will be a rewarding experience.

january 11, 2008

last night, i called Samaritans and i talked to a man who told me many of the same things everyone else else has. only, there was one thing that has stuck with me.

"you've learned from the experience, and that might be the only good that comes of it."

because this has been so trying for me, i keep expecting to come to some life-altering revelation. but, that's probably not going to happen. it's not that i'm giving up on anything or being pessimistic. i just have to start being more realistic.

i think the thing that helped the most was that he just talked to me. even though it was 1 in the morning, he didn't sound tired or irritated or anything. i felt like i knew him. i wish i had asked for his name when he asked for mine.

january 10, 2009

nope, not there yet.

january 9, 2008

TODAY WAS SO BAD.

january 8, 2009

*note: these are about different people.

1. all you do is recite. where's the feeling?

2. when i looked at you today, i felt like i didn't know you. like when you look at someone, and they look familiar, but you can't recall how you know them. it was strange.

january 7, 2008

i feel like i don't know myself anymore. so, how can i expect anyone else to want to? i have things i need to sort through before i'm ready for someone new. i can't hide from my problems behind someone else.

until i can devote all of my feelings to one person, i'm going to stay single.

january 6, 2008

well that was...unexpected. i don't know if i was ready for that. it threw me off.

january 4, 2008

i decided to test myself. i looked at the folder of pictures that devon told me not to look at. i looked at my favorite picture...my chest felt hollow, and my head spun, but i didn't cry.

january 3, 2009

resolution number one: open myself up to new things.

january 2, 2009

i want a girlfriend. eehhh.

january 1, 2009

well, this year started off horribly.